Experiencing ED can also be a reason to try not penetrative sex.  Try planning a sex session with your partner hat isn't focused on your erection at all.  Things like kissing, licking, sucking, foreplay and teasing all are super stimulating and don't focus on penetration.  Feel free to bring each other to orgasm using these ideas and see if you are able to relax and enjoy the experience.  Many men feel like failures when their erections become unreliable.  Having a few successful sexual sessions that lead to orgasm without penetration can put the fun back into having sex.  Many couples find success using this technique and begin to reengage sexually instead of avoiding being sexual for fear of failure.
Recognized risk factors for ED include cardiovascular disease (CVD) (hypertension, atherosclerosis, and hyperlipidemia), diabetes, depression, alcohol use, smoking, pelvic/perineal surgery or trauma, neurologic disease, obesity, pelvic radiation, and Peyronie’s disease. One study suggested that the relationship between arterial disease and ED is very strong, with 49% (147 of 300) of patients with coronary artery disease noted on cardiac catheterization reporting significant erectile dysfunction.6 Endothelial dysfunction has been indicated as the pathophysiologic mechanism responsible for both CVD and ED.7 The Boston Area Community Health survey demonstrated a dose-response between smoking and incidence of erectile dysfunction.8 Animal studies have demonstrated both smooth-muscle disruption and decreased production of neural nitric oxide synthase in cigarette-exposed animals.9
The truth is medication or psychosexual counselling are the first treatments a doctor will suggest because they’ve been proven to work. If a doctor has approved a medication for you then it’s safe. If you would still like to see if herbal supplements work for you, then there is a list below of supplements thought to work for erectile dysfunction. Just before you invest your money in them, remember they aren’t proven to work:
MSA is a neurodegenerative disease of undetermined etiology, where ED is an early prominent sign occurring in 40% of men at the time of diagnosis (46,47). ED occurs in the majority of patients and the exact cause of it is unknown (48). Like PD, MSA likely affects the dopaminergic pathways within the brain essential for arousal (49). Orthostatic hypotension (OH) as a causal factor has been refuted by evidence that sildenafil can overcome reduced filling pressures, and the ED usually precedes the development of OH (46,49,50). Similar to other neurologic disorders that lead to ED, other disease related factors such as psychosocial stress, the burden of chronic illness, changed appearance, fatigue, decreased fine motor movement of fingers, immobility and diminished self-esteem due to loss of independence may contribute as well (51).
Nearly every primary care physician, internist and geriatrician now understand that many older men retain an interest in sexual activity as they age. Some primary care physicians think that sexual potency in older men is the norm, and that if it is lacking, it is ‘all in the head.’ This viewpoint has not been supported by current literature. The Massachusetts Male Aging Study (MMAS) found that 52% of men between 40 and 70 years old reported having some form of erectile dysfunction (ED).1 The reality is that ED is a natural part of ageing and that the prevalence increases with age. In the MMAS, they found that roughly 50% of men at 50 years old, 60% of men at 60 years old and 70% of men at 70 years old had ED. Thus, nearly all men who live long enough should develop ED. The myths that surround the problems of impotence or ED confound the attempts of patients to receive treatment and the attempts of physicians to help them.1
Now, there are lots of ways that you can reduce stress and anxiety in your life. One of those things you can do is exercising daily. Now, it doesn’t mean getting into a gym all the time, but it can just be doing sit-ups at home, long walks at the grocery store, bicycling, and if you can afford the gym, getting there maybe two to three days a week. But don’t forget, a healthy body equals a healthy mind. Meditation, yoga, breathing exercises– now, here’s where you can take a few moments to be centered and communicate with your inner self, peace. Healthy eating– now, taking control of the intake of what goes into your body makes you to start feeling better and looking better. That wellness is the opposite of anxiety. And treating issues and tackling things that are weighing you down, taking that very first step is liberating.
Look into natural remedies. If you're not interested in drugs and devices, see a homeopathic practitioner who can advise you as to what natural remedies might help manage your ED. While no studies have been conducted to prove that these remedies work for everyone, some men have found that acupuncture, herbal medicines, and "herbal Viagra" can be useful.
In fact, one study showed that men who use these medications recreationally, when they’re not really needed, were more likely to develop psychological impotence! Therefore, instead of wasting money, risking one’s physical health and worsening one’s erectile function, men with psychological impotence should opt for treatment strategies that truly address the root of the trouble.
A cold slice of watermelon can do more than just satisfy thirst and hunger during the warm summer months; it can help with bedroom satisfaction. Citrulline, the amino acid found in high concentrations of watermelon, is found to improve blood flow to the penis. A 2011 study revealed men who suffered from mild to moderate ED and took L-citrulline supplementation showed an improvement with their erectile function and were very satisfied. Natural watermelon juice, or “nature’s Viagra,” can also be easier on the stomach, since taking pills like Viagra can cause nausea and diarrhea.
Alprostadil may be delivered via the urethra in the form of a pellet (MUSE) (107). This form of therapy has been trialed in SCI men with intermediate success (108). Bodner trialed MUSE dose escalation in SCI men and found 1,000 μg to be the most effective dose. Several men had hypotension when a constriction ring was not used in conjunction with the MUSE therapy.
When lifestyle changes alone don’t work, drug therapy (Viagra®, Cialis®, Levitra®, etc.) is normally the next step. Most of these medications work similarly to enhance a natural chemical in your body that relaxes the muscles in your penis. The goal of this medication is to increase your response to sexual stimulation by increasing the blood flow in your penis allowing you to get an erection.22
Impotence is a common problem among men and is characterized by the consistent inability to sustain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse or the inability to achieve ejaculation, or both. Erectile dysfunction can vary. It can involve a total inability to achieve an erection or ejaculation, an inconsistent ability to do so, or a tendency to sustain only very brief erections.
Erectile dysfunction is the inability to develop or maintain an erection that is rigid enough to allow penetration of the vagina, and therefore functional sexual intercourse. Generally, the term erectile dysfunction is applied if this occurs frequently (75% of the time) over a significant period if time (several weeks to months). If this is the case, the term impotence may also be used.

Injections: Injections are a reliable way to restore testosterone levels, but this therapy requires periodic injections (usually every two weeks) to sustain an effective level. It also causes high hormone levels right after the injection and low hormone levels just before the next shot. This is thought to be slightly more risky than other methods that maintain a moderate hormone level throughout the treatment period.
Counselling or sex therapy (58% of people find this works for them) –mind-related causes of erectile dysfunction can affect anyone. They are more likely if you experience erectile dysfunction at a younger age. Talking to a counsellor or therapist can help some people overcome erectile dysfunction related to these problems, possibly for good. They can also help you if your erectile dysfunction is causing you stress, as this can make matters worse.

Several pre-treatment factors have been described that may indicate success with PDE5i therapy. The presence of an upper motor neuron lesion up to T12 suggests a successful response, as well as requirement for a lower dosage of medication (62,68-71). Additionally, the presence of residual erections after injury or an incomplete SCI (ASI-A vs. ASIB-D) also improve the chance of PDE5i treatment success (59,67,68,71).
Zerman et al. performed penile implant surgery in 245 men with neurolgic impairment caused by spinal cord injury, CNS neoplasm, CNS infection, MS and SB (110). Mean follow-up time of 7.2 years was achieved in 195 patients, 50 patients were excluded for lost to follow-up or death from nonurological causes. Interestingly, 135 patients underwent penile implantation to assist with management of urinary incontinence and improve ability for condom/intermittent catheterization. Ninety-two patients patient underwent implantation for ED. Eighty two percent of patients were satisfied with implantation for ED, and 67% of partners were satisfied. Complications included infection (5%), perforation (0–18%), and technical dysfunction (7–33%). Perforation rates were high with the malleable device when it was placed through a subcoronal incision. After adopting an infrapubic approach the perforation rates dropped substantially.
Positron emission tomorgraphy (PET), and functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) have led to a greater understanding to which center are activated during arousal. These imaging studies measure increases in cerebral blood flow or changes in cerebral activity on a real-time basis. Studies are performed when male subject are aroused by visual cues (usually sexual explicit photos or videos) and compared to images obtained during exposure to sexually neutral cues differences can be measured. Several studies have identified that the inferior frontal lobes, inferior temporal lobes and insular gyrus, and occipital lobes are involved with processing arousal cues, although each are likely to process different stimuli (20-23).
Something else to consider is your porn use.  If you are masturbating to very stimulating porn on a regular basis then it might be difficult to get as aroused in the bedroom with your partner.  Watching video pornography is very stimulating and often men have difficulty creating that same level of arousal or stimulation with their partners.  Consider masturbating without technology as visual images in your head are less stimulating then watching something live. Try this for two weeks and see if your erection quality improves.
Psychological Causes of ED – Between 10% and 20% of ED cases have a psychological cause. Because arousal starts in the brain, psychological issues can be a significant contributing factor to erectile dysfunction. Mental health conditions like depression or anxiety can negatively impact your libido, making it more difficult for you to become aroused.

Since the advent of PDE5i, many other selective and non-selective peripheral acting compounds have been developed or are in development. Avanafil has shown promising results in treating ED in post-prostatectomy patients with suspected cavernous nerve injury (111). Other PDE5i marked in Asia such as udenafil, and mirodenafil also effective at treating ED may minimize side effects due to shorter half-lives (112-114). Soluable guanylate-cyclase inhibitors and potassium channel activators are compounds that have induced erections in animal models but remain experimental requiring further investigation (115-117).

Ginseng, specifically “red ginseng,” is known as the “herbal Viagra” that helps puts to rest men’s bedroom woes. Red ginseng is when the root has been steamed and then dried. The ginseng root is the part of the plant that is mostly used as a natural remedy when in its supplement form. However, the plant must be grown for a minimum of five years before it can be used. In a 2008 review, seven studies on red ginseng and ED, ranging in dosages from 600 to 1,000 milligrams three times a day, were found to provide evidence for the effectiveness of the herb in ED treatment.
Research has even found possible links to frequent ejaculation and a lower risk of prostate cancer. In one study of 32,000 men published in 2016 in the journal European Urology, for example, men who ejaculated at least 21 times per month while in their 20s were less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer than those who ejaculated four to seven times per month. And men who ejaculated more often in their 40s were 22 percent less likely to get a prostate cancer diagnosis.
A cold slice of watermelon can do more than just satisfy thirst and hunger during the warm summer months; it can help with bedroom satisfaction. Citrulline, the amino acid found in high concentrations of watermelon, is found to improve blood flow to the penis. A 2011 study revealed men who suffered from mild to moderate ED and took L-citrulline supplementation showed an improvement with their erectile function and were very satisfied. Natural watermelon juice, or “nature’s Viagra,” can also be easier on the stomach, since taking pills like Viagra can cause nausea and diarrhea.
Think of erectile dysfunction as your body’s “check engine light.” The blood vessels in the penis are smaller than other parts of the body, so underlying conditions like blocked arteries, heart disease, or high blood pressure usually show up as ED before something more serious like a heart attack or stroke. ED is your body’s way of saying, “Something is wrong.” And the list of things that cause erectile dysfunction can include:
Long-term predictions based on an aging population and an increase in risk factors (eg, hypertension, diabetes, vascular disease, pelvic and prostate surgery, benign prostatic hyperplasia, and lower urinary tract symptoms) suggest a large increase in the number of men with ED. In addition, the prevalence of ED is underestimated because physicians frequently do not question their patients about this disorder.
Usually there will not be a specific treatment that will lead to the improvement of erectile dysfunction. However, there are treatments that will allow erections to happen and can be used to allow sexual activity to take place. There are three main types of treatments: non-invasive treatments such as tablet medicines and external devices (e.g. vacuum device); penile injections; or for men who have not had success with other treatments, surgery may be an option.
Impotence, also called erectile dysfunction, in general, the inability of a man to achieve or maintain penile erection and hence the inability to participate fully in sexual intercourse. In its broadest sense the term impotence refers to the inability to become sexually aroused; in this sense it can apply to women as well as to men. In common practice, however, the term has traditionally been used to describe only male sexual dysfunctions. Professional sex therapists, while they identify two distinct dysfunctions as forms of impotence, prefer not to use the term impotence per se. Thus, because of its pejorative connotation in lay usage and because of confusion about its definition, the word impotence has been eliminated from the technical vocabulary in favour of the term “erectile dysfunction.”
Guilt is a painful and gut-wrenching emotion. It is identified in this article as one of the possible causes of psychological impotence. If your guilt is strong enough, it interrupts the signals between your brain and body, stopping you from getting an erection. It’s almost as if the unconscious mind punishes you by denying you pleasure in response to the guilt that you feel.
I started meditating about three years ago. I jumped in at the deep end. After a month of goofing around with apps, I signed up for a Vipassana—a ten-day silent retreat, where you sit cross-legged and meditate for about ten hours a day and spend the remaining 14 questioning everything you've ever done. After the retreat all sorts of changes took place: My anxiety disappeared, and my decision-making improved; but one of the most pronounced changes was my sex life. For the first time, I could have sex while thinking about sex rather than how broke I was or how quickly my career was imploding. And I'm not alone; meditation forums are full of people who have had similar experiences.
If you have symptoms of ED, it’s important to check with your doctor before trying any treatments on your own. This is because ED can be a sign of other health problems. For instance, heart disease or high cholesterol could cause ED symptoms. With a diagnosis, your doctor could recommend a number of steps that would likely improve both your heart health and your ED. These steps include lowering your cholesterol, reducing your weight, or taking medications to unclog your blood vessels.
Can’t or don’t want to take ED drugs? The vacuum pump method is the next most common choice among men with erectile dysfunction who pass on pills, says Dr. Bennett. To create an erection, you place a plastic cylinder over the penis and pump the air out of the cylinder to force blood to flow into the penis. An elastic ring that you slide onto the base of your penis holds the erection. This ED treatment device is effective for about 75 percent of men. Side effects include numbness, bruising, and weak ejaculation — and the ring must be removed after 30 minutes.
In some cases, however, these drugs may be unsuitable for patients with heart disease. If you are considering one of these drugs and you have heart disease, as many diabetics do, be sure to tell your doctor. In rare cases, the pills may create “priapism,” a prolonged and painful erection lasting six hours or more (although reversible with prompt medical attention).
Communicate with your partner. Do you feel comfortable and accepted when it comes to your sexual performance? If you're worried about meeting your partner's too-high expectations or living up to some kind of standard, it will be harder to maintain an erection - it's called performance anxiety. If you think your partner's judgment might be hindering your ability to have satisfying sex, you need to communicate your needs and find ways to make your sexual environment more inviting.
Sexual functioning involves a complex interaction among biologic, sociocultural, and psychological factors, and the complexity of this interaction makes it difficult to ascertain the clinical etiology of sexual dysfunction. Before any diagnosis of sexual dysfunction is made, problems that are explained by a nonsexual mental disorder or other stressors must first be addressed. Thus, in addition to the criteria for erectile disorder, the following must be considered:

Think of erectile dysfunction as your body’s “check engine light.” The blood vessels in the penis are smaller than other parts of the body, so underlying conditions like blocked arteries, heart disease, or high blood pressure usually show up as ED before something more serious like a heart attack or stroke. ED is your body’s way of saying, “Something is wrong.” And the list of things that cause erectile dysfunction can include:

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